Today I cried during a 1 to 1.

I sat there feeling like such a failure, because no matter how much leadership work I do, having employees and leading them still stretches me emotionally in ways I never expected. Everywhere you look in business, people tell you to hire, hire, hire. If you want to scale, you need a team. If you want freedom, you need employees. If you want to grow, you cannot do it alone.

And while that is true, no one really talks about what hiring costs you emotionally.

Even when you have incredible employees, it still takes an enormous amount of energy. Hiring is not just paying someone and handing off tasks. It is mentoring, training, correcting, encouraging, and helping another person grow while also trying to grow yourself at the exact same time.

It is exhausting in a way I do not think people fully understand until they experience it themselves. I absolutely compare it to motherhood. You are learning and growing alongside others, while they want/need/expect you to have all the answers and always be calm cool and collected. But you just don’t.

When you hire, you are forced to look in the mirror with almost every conversation. I always think about the Michael Jackson song, “Man in the Mirror.” Because leadership will expose every weakness, insecurity, communication issue, and emotional trigger you have. You cannot lead people well without becoming deeply aware of yourself.

And then, the really fun part? You realize every employee is different (just like every child is different).

One employee needs reassurance. Another needs directness. One values flexibility while another values structure. One wants growth opportunities while another simply wants stability and peace. Sometimes what they need naturally aligns with who you are as a person, and sometimes it doesn’t. That is where leadership becomes emotionally complicated.

And if you’re like me, this is where you break down crying and start wondering:

Am I communicating clearly enough? Am I supporting them enough? Am I expecting too much? Am I leading from pressure instead of patience? Am I building a culture people actually feel safe in?

No one really prepares you for that part.

People talk about payroll costs, taxes, onboarding systems, and HR compliance. Those things matter. But the emotional responsibility of hiring someone is heavy too. When someone joins your company, they are trusting you with a piece of their livelihood, their stability, and sometimes even their family’s future. That weight is real.

And then there is the financial side that I just mentioned. You need a financial plan before you are ready to hire. I often forecast my ten, three, and one year staffing needs. I include the salaries, taxes, benefits, and a cushion for whatever I don’t know. As soon as I create the job posting, I start moving the salary amount over into savings with every payroll. This helps me acclimate to having that expense before they come on board. The added benefit is that I usually have three plus months of their salary in savings, which also helps alleviate the stress of hiring.

When you hire without a budget, every payroll cycle will feel stressful. Every slow month you will question the need for employees, especially with the emotional weight also on your shoulders. Every mistake your employee makes feels expensive.

Final Thoughts from Your Favorite Accountant 🧡

Hiring will grow your business, but it will also grow you. It will challenge your communication, your leadership, your patience, and your financial habits all at the same time.

The emotional side of hiring is real, and pretending it is not, only creates more shame for business owners who are already carrying a lot.

Before you hire, make sure your finances are ready to support the life you are trying to build for both yourself and your team.

Because at the end of the day, cash flow isn’t luck, it’s strategy.

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